Alright, let's start off with this...
The Andy that came out two days ago, or whenever it was, sucks. I'm not doing that again. I complained on my previous blog, and that's why it ended. I'm not repeating that.
She's just such an interesting person. If I didn't see her at all this semester, I would be very bored on campus. So I have to accept whatever comes.
The wedding today was nice. Very small, very short. It was perfect. There were times where everyone laughed. Some of the time everyone was just smiling. They make a great couple and they have my best wishes.
I also realized that I won't allow myself to go through life without getting married. I'm not ready for marriage right now or anything, but I do know that one day, I will be. I can imagine myself standing there with a beautiful brunette. I can imagine writing the vows. I can imagine slipping the ring on her finger, kissing the bride, and looking out into the crowd. I know that I want a very elaborate wedding. In a huge church. With a long honeymoon afterwards.
I have a new aura emanating from me. I have a half smirk on my face most of the time now. The smirk that says, "Yea, that's right, it's me." I have no idea where it came from. I really have no reason for it. But ever since it showed up, I've noticed that I'm getting more looks. And yes, I likey.
I just...
I got confused for a little bit. That's all. I freaked out. That's all. It was bound to happen after all of these years of holding everything in.
Speaking of which, I'm taking a page from my old book. I bought two CDs today to help me out. I went ahead and got the Velvet Revolver CD. I also replaced my Deftones White Pony CD. Back in the day, before I really settled into my favorite music, I listened to the Deftones 24 - 7. I miss that. So I'm getting back to it. And if you remember me from my first Deftones phase, then you know what I'll be like for the next few months.
Right now, I'm energized. I still have a little bit of a runny nose, but I feel so much better. I don't care that I can't have her right now. Sometimes the desire is better than what you seek. I'm willing to accept that. I'm going to look around, observe my options, and then think about all of the things I can do.
And now I'm in the perfect mood for sleep.
2 comments:
yay for being content! (and hopefully it stays). and yay for velvet revolver! i'm glad you've accepted your emotions AND the circumstances. boo for runny noses (i have one too), but whatever. have a good week.
~anh
I think it'll stay. I don't have much else to think about. Well, there isn't much else I'd rather think about.
I've been told that when a person dreams about me, they feel 100% the next morning. Eh? Eh? ;)
Just take your Nyquil...
Post a Comment