Today has been interesting to say the least. For some reason, I expected more.

As far as sadness and depression go, I'm not emotional like that. It takes a plethora of bad events to bring me into depression. And when I'm sad, my face is the same as if I were indifferent. But I do look about 5 years older right now.

It's not that I don't feel it.

So I will be leaving town tomorrow (Sunday) night. Have an 8 hour trip ahead of me. It's going to be a hard 8 hours. I don't know how I'll react once I get there, and all of that time on the road will be spent thinking about that. I worry that I might not look as sad as I should, but at the same time, most of my family knows that I just don't show it. I'm worried that I'll get into a fight with one of my relatives. One specific relative. I don't want that, not now. My dad listed me as a pallbearer. That makes me nervous.

Well, I am extremely tired right now. I haven't felt like this in quite a while.