Remember, dreams, stress...

The weirdest thing. Having memories come back from out of nowhere. Laying on the floor at my bro's apartment, and the windows were open. It was probably 70 or so degrees today, real nice. Well, this wind blew in, and all I could think of was October. Don't know which year exactly. But I knew it felt like October. And it felt like I had to get ready for a football game or something. High school football game. This wind out of nowhere took me back about 3 years. Really freaked me out.

Ever smell something, and it made you think of some past event with no real significance? Smell is supposed to be the sense strongly associated with memory.

Quote from a past conversation for B to comment on, because I know he can laugh at it...

"FBombAndy: yea, I sound like a parent
D: it's so cliche
D: haha no
D: you sound like a woman's self-help book"

Had a weird dream Friday night. I haven't put the pieces together yet, but I'm working on it. Much like Jan 7th on my old blog, I'll try to tell it as best as I can...

(From this point out, the lead character in this dream will go by the name "Girl." Can't think of a good name. But the basics are that she's a girl I knew of somewhat. Haven't talked to her in over two years, even though we really didn't talk much before. Not an ex. Found out last year that she was a potential. That's all I'm going to say. Oh, and she probably would have been perfect for me, considering my ridiculous standards.)

Part I

Sitting at what appeared to be a picnic bench. Fel is to the right, Girl is to the left. They were talking seriously about something. I said something like, "It's ok though, Girl is smart." Next thing, Girl is looking down at the ground, Fel says, "You don't know what all has happened." Sort of stunned, but I feel like I care.

At some apartment. I spend most of my time watching Girl, who now has a brace on her left knee. I make sure she's getting around ok. It's night time and dark outside except for the moonlight and a few porch lights. Went outside for some reason, and there's weird stuff all over the ground in huge puddles. It looked alot like vomit or something. Ambulance drives off in the distance, and people in the complex are freaking out. Loud yelling, helicopters flying over me. I go back into the apartment, and the lights are all out. I find Girl and tell her that I'll keep her safe.

Part II

My bro and I found Fel and Girl in a movie theater. For some reason, my bro and I tried to make it look like a coincidence, even though we knew they were there. As we walked through the hallway, it slowly changed into a medical-looking hallway. I was dribbling a basketball forward, and my fat cousin was backpedaling while trying to swat it away. Also in the hallway was my dad's family from El Paso, those mentioned earlier, and still present Girl. They were watching my cousin and I, as if waiting to watch me fail. He finally knocked it away, and everyone turned away from me, including Girl. Now feeling disappointed and angry.

End...

I don't know what brought Girl into my dreams. Hadn't thought of her in quite a while. But anyone who knows me knows just how much I hate going to El Paso. I become the black sheep of the family whenever I'm in El Paso. My bro sees it happen, and he understands what I mean. I'm quiet, and I keep to myself. I don't like attention. But they are loud, and everyone of them demand attention 24-7. I'm not willing to give that, so I become the outcast. It's ok though, because since the last time I was there, I've grown up enough to choose not to go. Before, if my parents were going, so was I. Now, they know I don't want to go, so I'm not forced to. As a result, I haven't been there for years.

What sucks is that they are coming to Austin once my nephew is born. It's not for another month or so, but it already stresses me out. Not the baby. My relatives. They stress me out. And then in September, there's a wedding so I have to go to El Paso. I've almost talked my way out of going, but my bro is pushing me to come, mostly so he won't get bored and such. Want to see me at my boiling point? Put me in El Paso. (By the which, because my nephew is going to be born in late May, I don't have to worry about going to my cousin's graduation in May. Already I owe this kid a favor, ha!)

Either way, better end this before it gets any longer.