310 - Perspective

This post may be long. But I am writing this for someone. And when I do anything for someone, I put everything into it.


Everyone says that relationships are better and longer-lasting if they are built on a solid friendship. There is some truth to this. If you can be friends with someone for a year, you can probably date them. If you can date someone for a year, you can think about living with them. And if you can live with them for an extended amount of time, you can marry them. Not that I'm suggesting marriage is the only result of this type of experiment. I'm just taking this view based on the experiences of those around me.

A big problem that occurs very frequently takes place in the progression from friendship to 'more than friends.' Someone has to step up and say what they feel. And more often than not, the guy must take the first step.

From my own experience, this can be extremely difficult. This past semester, I ran into this problem. I knew what I felt, and I knew what I wanted. I didn't know what she wanted, or how she felt. So I needed to ask. But I just couldn't build enough courage to go through with the question.

I've done it before though, asking the all-important question. I remember the outcome. It wasn't the happy ending I was hoping for. And because of that one instance, I can't let go of my pessimism. I can't look at the positive possibility.

Even if the guy never expresses his feelings, it can still be a disaster for him. In my case, I'll probably see her this semester. And every time I look at her, a piece of me will die. I will see perfection, and it will be out of my grasp. She'll see me, and never know what's going on inside of me.

But when I told her "I'll be there for you," I meant it. It's the best thing I can offer. It's the only thing I can offer.

I don't know what I can really say. If I express my interest, and she in turn says that I must remain her best friend, I have to be happy with that because it will make her happy. And that is my goal. That is what my feelings suggest I do.

Conclusion

Ladies, if you turn down a guy, do not feel guilty. Do not feel depressed or anything of that sort. Your love is worth so much that many guys will desire it. And you will have to keep some of them as friends. In the end, it will be better that way.

(Note: When I think about contacting someone from my past, I just remind myself that I'll have to start the healing process all over again. And so, I haven't called anyone from my past.)


This post is definitely going under 'important posts.' Everything here is my truth.

Note: If you want an answer and wish to remain anonymous, please use my email. I will keep all things confidential. If you'd like something more personal than a post for everyone to see, I'm more than willing to email my answer back to you.