301 - Reflection

Nine Inch Nails - Hurt (Or the cover by Johnny Cash)

I don't like to look back at my past. I sometimes can't turn away once I start reflecting. But the words of an old friend, and a story from high school, made me look back at my senior book.

I left many pages blank. I don't have a ton of pictures in it. I didn't write that much. I let my friends write most of the stuff in there.

I also have a folder full of notes. You know, the notes that you pass back and forth with chics. I looked through those as well.

Samples:

"...I will remember you and your funny, sarcastic, and cynical nature."
"You're so different from everyone, and that's what makes you so cool."
"You amaze me everyday with your sincerity and kindness."
"You are such a cool guy and you get along with everyone."
"You have always been there when I needed you."
"You made this year worthwhile."

There's a ton of those 'don't change for anyone' type messages.

And here I am isolating myself from friends here in Austin. Wanting to get away because I feel ignored. It's wrong of me. Even if I'm being ignored, that shouldn't change how I treat someone. Even if I can't have someone, that shouldn't change how I treat them. If I can make someone smile, I should do everything to make it happen.

I suck at initiating anything. I suck at apologizing. More flaws to fix.