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Alright, I've figured out some stuff, and while I'm still stressed out as much as I was, I don't think it would be fair of me to tone things down.

I like being single. I'm starting to love it. Considering that I live with my bro and his wife, I pretty much get a good idea of what it takes. I'm not willing to put that out there.

I don't have motivation. Yea, apparently I'm good on paper, but my door isn't being busted down either. So I figure that I should be selfish by not opening up to anyone. I have good friends, and right now, that's all I need.

Yea, being with someone might make me happier, but I'm happy enough right now. I have things going for me. I'm doing well in my classes, I have my Harmon Kardon back in working condition, and I rarely have homework. That means that I can come home and do absolutely nothing. I don't have to come home and be someone's shoulder. I don't have to come home and listen to anyone. I don't have to cheer anyone up. I don't have to do a thing.

If I loved someone, I would do everything above without hesitation because that's what I think it means to love someone. But I don't love anyone right now. And I don't think I've found a person who I'm ready to give my full effort for.

I wouldn't mind being on the phone for hours. I wouldn't mind writing crappy love poems for someone. I wouldn't mind buying flowers and such for someone. It's just that I don't know anyone that is worthy of that. I don't mean to sound cocky or arrogant. I just feel that because I'm willing to sacrifice myself for someone, I better make it worthwhile.

Maybe sacrifice isn't the word. It's not like I need to get a knife or something. I guess I mean 'to sacrifice my free time and more.' I'll go out of my way to make people comfortable. I'll do the little things and I'll do the bigger things. That's what I mean.

Guess I'll remain a hidden secret.