So, boliver321 brings out some great points, like the fact that I do need to get my ass home. I do need a break from Austin. To this day, this has been the longest stay in Austin ever. I haven't been home since April. Usually I go back once a month, but for some reason it's been different lately.
In response to the second point, maybe I am finding myself. I do know what I want though. I want that 8 - 5 job in some office with a cubicle. I like order and organization, and it may be preemptive of me, but I'm really liking the concept of having a boss breathing down your neck. So I do know what I want to be. Kind of.
As far as relationships, I'm usually not looking for one. For instance, I was on the elevator with someone from my Music class. She's incredibly attractive and I know I could have started a minor conversation with ease. But I didn't. And it's because I don't think I could really do that right now. The thought of bringing someone to meet my family scares the bejeezus out of me. How long should we be together before she meets my parents? Will they like her? Will she like them? Just thinking about that stresses me out.
With that said, relationships seem to find me. Opportunities always come when I'm not looking. If you look at all of the exes in my life (not an invitation to talk about them), they were all unexpected. I didn't make the first move in any of those cases. So, when I thought an opportunity had arrived, and I decided I was going to take advantage of this, it turned out to be a false alarm. I got my hopes high, and that's where all of the emotional outbursts have stemmed from.
I was angry that I could be so wrong. I was depressed that I could be so wrong. I was frustrated that I could be so wrong. You get the idea. Well, now I'm content with being wrong. I'm finally content. I haven't felt this way in a while. Being OK with not being right...it's an odd concept for me.
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