If I were to say to her, "I want you all to myself," would that be selfish of me? Even if it's for her own benefit as well?
At least I know what I've been meaning to say. Speechlessness can really suck.
So do anxiety attacks. They suck bad.
As each day passes, I'm starting to sleep better at night. I know one night a couple of nights ago was practically worthless. I spent what felt like 5 hours just laying there and thinking. I thought about everything I felt and everything I needed to express. Then the next night, I spent only an hour doing so. And last night, I fell asleep rather quickly. Tonight, I hope to just pass out. This week is going to tear me apart, but I'll make it through.
And I hope I make it through with a deeper bond at the end of the week. It's not very often that I get attached to someone. I have my handful of friends from high school that I would sacrifice myself for. I have maybe 2 or 3 people here in Austin that I would do the same for. But this one...what a spell I've been placed under. Never have I grown attached to someone this fast.
And I don't mind being selfish.
2 comments:
Is this still that U of D chick? And does she not know how you feel? Are you guys on the same page about your 'relationship'?
Nothing is worth lossing sleep over --- you laugh, but it is true. The more you think about what could/should/would happen the more likely the reality that actually occurs is less satisfying.
You need to set your expectations and leave them --- (and of course share them with this chick).
Hit the digits if you want to talk.
Good luck at school these next two weeks!
No, to the U of D question. They are just my friends.
This is a chic at UT. I'll give you a call and let you know the situation...
...and ask you why you're up at 7.
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