I truly believe that if you pass the final for the course, you should pass the course. Especially if the final is cumulative. So, after saying that, I think I passed my Logic final. I better damn well pass that class. I know I did better than a lot of people in there. Oh man, I'm just digging my hole for disappointment by saying all this.
Now that finals are over, I just want to sleep for a long time. I get to relax now. This is good.
I'm worried about something. I'm constantly going through scenarios in my head, you know, the whole 'what if' thing. An example from last week, 'what if I bomb my Spanish final like I bomb most finals?' Then I go through the motions in my head, figure out the consequences, and judge my reaction. (By the way, haven't I already mentioned what goes on in my head?) So, this can be very beneficial at times. It can really soften a blow like doing crappy on a final. It makes me feel prepared for failure. And if I don't fail, then I feel more relieved than if I had expected success. You see? Does this make sense?
But, there are negative side-effects. If I go through these motions concerning specific people's actions, I can end up alienating myself from them. I can ask 'what if they do this' and end up disliking the person, even though they didn't do a thing.
So, to get to the point, I think I've been going through scenarios too much lately. I find that my feelings for some people are reversing in a quick manner. Some from bad to worse, but others from good to better. I'm just afraid that someday, I'm going to flip off someone and they will have no idea why.
Maybe I do need those sedatives...
2 comments:
hey i know what ur saying with the scenarios thing. i do that all the time. the tiniest, most innocent thing could happen..and i'll overanalyze it to death. a blessing and a curse in many ways...anyway, just thought i'd let u know i understand
Thank you. That brings me much-needed relief.
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