Bad Thursday?

I know I said I'd be back on Monday. But I am just overfilled with thoughts that need to get out.

I'm really in the mood to destroy things. I finished most of my logic homework, but the 2nd to last problem is killer. Well, maybe I'm just making it harder than what it is.

When I'm on the bus, and I get my favorite seat, I look at the metal and plastic right in front of me. I want to hit it with my forearms until either my bones or that metal and plastic give. But I know that will hurt immensely. And I know my Dad would be pissed at me for something stupid like that. Ok, well maybe not pissed, but he wouldn't be happy. The whole knuckle incident is proof of that.

Today's been rough. I've been freaked out, surprised in a bad way, shocked in another, apalled, disgusted, you name it. Today is not my day. But at least there's less than 2 hours left.

I can't help but feel that in two hours, everything can go wrong. Even if I went to sleep right this moment. There's no guarantee that I'll wake up happy. No promise that I'll wake up without fear.

Wishing I was having another bone marrow test...

...just so I could be sedated. Sedated, seduced, either works...

Here's what you can do...

Considering that I do go to UT, where organizations and hippies congregate to spread messages of a political nature every single day...

...everyone can take their debates, their political opinions, and cram it up their ass.

I'm so out of place at UT. I do not blend in very well. I should be plotting against everyone.

But that's why I like it here. I don't match anyone on campus. 55,000+ students, and none are like me. I'm an odd-colored fish swimming in a huge pond of pirahna. Come and get it. I'll probably make you cry.

Once again, do not come at me with political opinions, because I'll retaliate with a baseball bat. Or a hockey stick.

Right...

Just found out I have logic homoework (can't believe I typed that) due tomorrow...

Can this get any worse? I'm seriously in a bad mood now.

Not quite...

Watched I, Max.

Nope, not feeling better.

This might take the weekend. I need to gather my self and find a new goal.

Why do I have class tomorrow? The only one I'm looking forward to is my French Horn lesson. And I can't skip either of the other two classes. This sucks so bad...

...but then again, this feeling reminds me of good times. It means that I haven't reached my final destination. I still have to look at the menu and decide. There's more time. This road keeps on going...hopefully not much further now.

Blow my head off...

A little piece of me died today. But I'm on my short road to recovery. Given a day, I'll feel so much better. Or I can just wait until I, Max comes on. So hilarious...

Yea, this alarm clock is working. I woke up on time with my heart rate at 130. Or somewhere around there. Definitely working.

94 on the Spanish test. Stupid mistakes. I know I said I could accept one or two, but knowing those were the only two makes me mad. Well, they weren't the only two, but looking back, I might have done better if I hadn't rushed through it.

I think I need a vacation. I'll be back Monday. Or sooner if something great happens.

Oh, nice article by Marc Stein on ESPN.com here.

The "S" in FSN...

Oh my gosh, how does Fox Sports keep screwing up their NFL power rankings? Dallas beat Washington on Monday night, and somehow the Cowboys remained at the same spot while Washington moved up a spot. Losing a game makes you better? Atlanta is 3 and 0, yet they managed to move down a spot. Fox Sports is good for one thing: I, Max.

Realized I do have Spanish homework to do (I say that everyday, don't I?) I should probably jump on it, but I'm so lazy. Eh, what's a few minutes out of my life anyway?

I know I said Cingular was gay, but I've changed my mind. When I went to upgrade my phone, the chic there that helped me was very nice and informative. Things were done in a professional manner, and it didn't take long at all. It really made my day. AOL, Time Warner, and I'm sure there's more, are still on my bad list.

Still looking for a nice pair of jeans. There's this new Lucky Brand store in the mall. I think I may go in there some day. I know, I've said that I hate jeans and that I would never wear them. But they can open up so many more possibilities for my wardrobe. I just checked out their online catalog, and I've found my new favorite store. Awesome.

Too bad Reno 911 already finished the season. That show is hilarious.

What if...

For some odd reason, I feel compelled to write about something that happened earlier today.

As some of you know, I take the bus back from school. It doesn't stop right in front of my door, so I have to walk just a little bit. As I was walking on the sidewalk, a red truck was swerving across all three lanes. Not one lane, not two, but all three. At one point, I looked up from the ground, and saw the front end a few feet away from me.

He pulled back towards the road, and he completely missed the sidewalk. His swerve continued a little further on, and then he stopped at a red light.

From a blimp, the wave the guy's path created had a tangent which intersected my point of existence. Had he gone straight maybe 10 feet further, a major collision would have taken place.

And yet, I did not jump. I did not yell. I did not dive out of the way. I merely watched the truck come at me. I felt no fear. And that bothers me...

The guy could have been drunk, he could have lost control, any number of situations could have been the case. And nothing went through my head as it happened. Nothing. Pure emptiness.

It just makes me wonder how desensitized I am. Of course, we all know I have a short fuse. But I mean desensitized in the qualites and/or feelings that make us human, like the fear of death and the unknown.

In other news, Milton Bradley of the Dodgers is my hero! If I played baseball, no doubt I would be just like him.

No alarms and no surprises...

So far, so good.

Woke up late again. So I went and bought a real alarm clock. It's the same model I've been using for the past two years. The sound it produces will wake anyone up in 5 mile radius. Well, maybe not that far. It's a crappy way to wake up in the morning, but at least I'll wake up.

Test in Spanish for the second consecutive day. This was the main part, too. Countries, capitals, translations and improvisation. I think I did well. I finished in about 20 or so minutes. Left for music class and what not. That went well. I practically passed out for most of it.

Tomorrow is Spanish and Spanish Lab. Fun stuff. Well, not really. I need to practice my horn a little before Friday as well. Oh, Spanish homework to do also. Crap. I'm on it...

Dreams and thoughts...

Today started off rather well. I haven't had a better night's sleep in years. I did wake up 17 minutes before my alarm, but the dream I had was amazing. Not one of those dreams, you perv. But I am convinced that dreams are an interpretation of what we want most in life. If you dream about winning the lottery, you want riches most in life. If you dream about not being single, that is what you want the most. Even unreal events can be pleasing and relieving.

Ate a small breakfast for a change. Usually, I can't eat early in the morning. I'm trying to change that. But afterwards I headed to spanish. The quiz we had today wasn't over the material I studied (looked over briefly). Fortunately, I knew my vocab. So I know for sure I missed one question, but that's ok. As much as I mention my desire to be perfect, I can accept mistakes and faults.

But that damn quiz took up almost all of the class time, which didn't leave me much 'talking' time. I think I'm getting paranoid about some of the people in my class. Suspicious eyes are always set on me, and I have no idea why. I'm not guilty of anything. I don't look like a criminal. I don't look at people like they're dumb (oh wait...I do). It just makes me curious.

I'm really hoping that the next couple of weeks will be awesome. There's potential...

Done at noon tomorrow. Yes. So great.

But I think I'm going to offer my services to someone who might find me useful. I know how to help and comfort people. Well, let me be more specific. I know how to help and comfort ladies. Woman's self-help book, right here. Well, I don't think she needs help...or comfort. I just want to be there. At least have the opportunity to be there...

Pleasing...

Cowboys won. I almost thought they were going to blow it on that last play, but luckily the receiver stayed in bounds.

In case you're wondering, I upgraded my phone to the Motorola V220. Not today's absolute best, but it does everything I want. I'm very happy.

Spanish test tomorrow. Should go well. I enjoy Spanish immensely. Never a dull moment.

I'm done at 1:30 tomorrow, and that's not bad at all. I don't have to wake up until 8 or so. But that means I should be going to bed sometime soon. I'm tired any way. I didn't wake up on time this morning because I didn't have the alarm loud enough. Tomorrow morning will be a test for that.

Otherwise, it's off to bed I go. My many, many dreams...

Best wishes to someone I know...

And?

I upgraded my phone...

Too much...

Realized just now that 5 people talking at the same time is really stressful to me. I tried blocking it out, but that doesn't work. I just want to go for a 10 mile walk or something. It's dark outside, the wind is nice and cool, and I'm pretty sure no one will bother me.

Totally feel like being in solitary confinement. Could really do me some good.

Otherwise, Texas won, USC almost lost, and Cowboys don't play until Monday night. Tomorrow is going to suck so bad.

I have homework I could do. But it's the weekend. Why should I waste that?

Also, I might not get to upgrade my phone because Cingular is gay. Put them on the list with AOL and Time Warner. This list is going to grow rapidly in the days to come...

AIM = GAY!!!

Why does AIM have to be so damn gay sometimes?

"You are trying to sign on too early." Something like that. Turns out you have to wait at least 15 minutes. If you try to sign in before 15 minutes pass, not only do you get that error message, but then the time limit is extended. So, this can continue for an hour, even more.

I'm just a little pissed...just a little...

Premature eruption...

Alright, that's it...

I am sick and tired of all this low-carb crap. People are into this eating healthy and low sodium, low sugar, no fat... It's all marketing dribble! If you want to waste your life counting amounts of nutrients in the food you eat, then you're pathetic. Do you also measure the individual servings and eat only that? Pure crap.

Was close to dropping F-bombs and S-bombs, but I didn't. I do feel like one of these posts, I'm going to let loose with a "four-letter word" Apocalypse of sort. Wait for it...Or encourage me. If I get enough approval, I won't hold back anymore. Considering that this is fbomb.blogspot...I should be dropping F-bombs like crazy.

Jury's still out on whether or not I like chics cussing. I think it depends on the chic. I mean, some people can cuss with no effort and it sounds fine. Other people force it out, and that's so terrible.

Haven't cussed in a while. Have punched stuff, but that's different. Throwing right hooks to a futon is nothing. Boy, was I pissed!

Friday After Next?

Friday friday friday...

Wasn't too bad. Lessons went well. I'm starting to sound really good. Next week my instructor is going to pick out a solo for me. I think I can handle it.

Did get my hair cut. It is all one color, too. Nothing fancy, although I am going to play around and see what I can do. I do have this gel that turns your hair red. I have another that turns it blue. Think I'll stick with the red. I'll do a test run on Monday too gauge people's reactions.

Otherwise, really boring right now. Three mistakes on the spanish script. Oh well, it's not that much off. As the assumed leader, I'm going to have to read these things more carefully.

Yea, think I might take a nap.

Isolation...

Think I might turn off my phone this weekend. Will still upgrade, but I don't think I'll take any calls. I'm really going to try and relax. I always say I'm relaxin' but it's never true. There's always something floating in the back of my mind.

Dee suggested I get a faux mohawk. I'm not sure yet, but I'll consider it. It could be a new page in my long, boring book. I don't have any more input really, but I'll ask. My hair feels really good right now, too. (picturing it, it could really work for me)

Moved basketball to Saturday. Maybe. It'll be better in the long run. Shoulder is still sore from last time. Going to play at the courts on campus, and that means I can drive again. Where we've been playing lately, there's a big brick wall behind the goal. So, any layup will come with a price. No fear now.

Getting new furniture this weekend it looks like. Some leather couch, two chairs, and an ottoman. Should be neat. I have my eye on this one bed, but it doesn't fit two people. Kind of a downer.

I did mention when I got my futon, my mom said "Wow, you can fit two people on here," right? I don't think she knew what she was implying at the time, but I caught on quick. Turns out it can hold three people comfortably. (wink)

But yea, spanish homework is done. Well, the script thinger. Peoples jumped on it quick, and there was nothing left. I hope things weren't too harsh.

So yea, I'm gonna go to bed.

Nothing...

"I'm digging in the dirt
Stay with me, I need support.
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
To open up the places I got hurt."

Nope, not a quiz. Too easy...

Stupid golf...

Why would ESPN show golf instead of PTI and ATH? It's stupid. Really stupid. Luckily, I still have I, Max to watch. Insults flying everywhere, and I get sports news. Awesome.

Easy day today. Had a quiz I forgot about, but managed to ace it. Beh, if it were a real test, I'd be happier. Quizzes are nothing. But there is some writing activity and some small review to do. So happy I took spanish in high school...

Have Horn lessons tomorrow, but I've only practiced once in the past two weeks. Not good. But I still sound good, so I think it'll go ok. Done at noon, going to get a hair cut, then going to try to find a place to get my hair colored.

I think I will upgrade my phone. My dad wants me to upgrade mine. So I might. I really want the color screen, camera, true ring tones, and what not. peaking of which, until I do upgrade, I'm trying to find another sing to program into my phone. I have Street Spirit, Like Spinning Plates, and another. A 4th would be nice.

Alright, gonna watch TV, maybe go to Target, just gonna relax.

Hump day...

Two days, then the weekend. I can't wait. Well, I can...somewhat.

Thinking about upgrading my phone. I want to get that Motorola V400. But I'm probably going to hold off on that and just upgrade my dad's phone. My dad uses that phone more in one day than I do in one month. I'd like him to have a new toy.

I was going to write a post on religion and how people abuse it, but I've decided not to. It's not my place, and because I say that everyone should keep their religion to their self, I should practice that.

Think I'll get a haircut on Friday. I could really use one. Although, I need highlights too. I don't look the same with single-colored hair. Well, I'm also looking for a new hairstyle. I've had this one for long enough. I should go back to spikey...

Well, gonna try to get eight hours of sleep for tomorrow.

So retarded...

You know what pisses me off?

When you click a link and it overrides the page used to type this post. You lose all the data you had, even if you hit the back button. Total gay! Almost as gay as when my favorite seat in Spanish is taken by someone other than me. That's another story though.

What I originally typed was that R had a good point about using one letter. It's too obvious who I'm referring to. So, from this sentence on, I'm going to use first names with bold, maybe a last initial if need be.

When I pulled off my headphones on the bus, I realized it was entirely silent. It was so nice. No one was talking, moving around, nothing to cause noise. Perfection.

Didn't play basketball today like I was hoping. Will have to make up for it sometime.

Well, my shows are about to start. Maybe more later? Stay tuned...

Buncha nerds...

I don't mean to be a big nerd, but...

C++ is sooooo much better than Java.

And right now, Java is pissing me off royally.

Who came up with that? "Royally?" Doesn't work. Let's just say that if Java were a person with the same quality of annoyance, I'd shoot it in the face. The face!

Easy fun...

Quizzes are getting too easy. I'm going to have to make them much harder. I need to find obscure bands and songs. Plus, these can all be found online with Google or such, so I need to take that out of the question. Maybe I should start over on the scoring...

Cowboys won. Unfortunately for us, Julius Jones was injured. Unfortunately for Winslow, he broke his leg.

Parents are coming down this weekend. Should be fun. Although, I'd much rather go home for a weekend or something. I haven't been home since April I think. Plus, I need to get my hair highlighted again. It's winter, so I'm thinking red. A nice dark blood red.

The show based on Kornheiser starts tonight. I'm a bit interested. It could turn out to be funny, which is something I could use.

You know, with grey curtains in this room, and the sun almost set, it's pleasantly dark in here. If only that would translate into something cold. I can't wait until October and November. When the highs drop down to about 50 or 60, well, that's when I practically overfill with delight. Considering that my normal temperature is now at about 95, I'm ready. 98.6 is for losers!

Speaking of which, some people out there are good at certain tasks. That must also mean that some people out there most certainly suck at some tasks. So, learn what you're good at, and don't bother with the rest. If you can play football, but you suck at basketball, don't play basketball. Simple, right?

Tomorrow night, I think I'll play some basketball. I need to get back into that habit.

Here you go...

"...to help you achieve freedom, justice, equality, food, clothing, and shelter..."
Hint: Rap.

Good luck.

Quiz 3 or 4...

"Limb by limb and tooth by tooth,
It's tearing up inside of me,
Every day, every hour"

Can't give the next line because it would give the answer.

"I'm a reasonable man,
get off my case, get off my case."

Seeing a theme...

"What would I do?
What would I do,
If I did not have you?"

Three points for a line (although, I always believed that two points were enough.)

Extra Credit

"I must remain in tune forever,
My love is music,
I will marry melody."

Sundays...

Totally pissed...

Two things...

Lindsay Lohan is good for only two things.

She's on SNL right now. It's great how they bring out her assets. It's really great.

Hey, she's 18. I'm in the clear. But either way, if I was asked a certain question...

...yes, yes I would.

Texas is moving up to number 5. LSU lost, so yea. Awesome. They can eat it.

Have a small program due on Monday. So tomorrow will be devoted to that. Unless some other work comes up. I know what I'm doing.

Am I interested? Yes.

One...

Saturday night...

Bad shooting...

Played ball with R and some of his friends this afternoon. I haven't been myself lately on the court. I can't find my stroke. Nonetheless, R and I won all three games.

Maybe it's because I took a ball to the head as well as a shoulder. Can't really think straight.

So yea, it's been a decent Friday. Gonna sleep in tomorrow for sure. I'll probably stay up a bit longer though. I miss staying up late. With 8AM classes and an hour long bus ride, mornings really suck. I'm not a morning person.

Going back downstairs...

Trucks...

I don't like people who drive F-350s but don't need them for a job or something. You know, the Dallas status symbol. I don't like seeing F-250s on the highway either.

So, this just pisses me off. Absolutely unnecessary.

In other news, I've finally reached my weekend. Yea for me!

Sleep and sleep...

I'm incredibly tired.

I think I did well on the test. It took me an hour, and they gave us three. So either I did really well, or I really screwed up.

If I'm going to crash, I'm going to crash as best as I can.

Two classes tomorrow, have to get some letters. I hope I remember.

Alright, eyes are closing. I'm out of here...

The "F" in FSN...

Fox and their Sports news just lost my respect. They totally goofed.

Browns, Giants, and Texans went up one spot each, while Detroit feel below them by moving down three spots.

Of those four teams, the Lions were the only winners. Does that make sense?

Losing Charles Rogers or not, it doesn't matter. Losing teams don't move up, winning teams don't move down, unless it's the BCS back when they included strength of schedule.

Stupid...

How odd...

I feel particularly good today...

What could have possibly caused this? I have a friggin' test today!

Please let this one be for real. Disappointment has been too plentiful lately.

I better do well on this test. I think I can...

Do I really need to go over this???

Let me explain something real quick...

If you're walking in an area where thousands of people walk every hour and you decide to stop moving, you're going to get bumped into. The odds of you getting bumped into are directly proportional to your closeness to the center of the walk area.

If you're walking slow, people should not have to go around you. You should get out of the way. Some people like to get to class on time. So if you decide to crawl on the ground, at least do it on the side or something.

If you ride a bike, you have to obey the rules of any motorist. You're supposed to stop at red lights, stop signs, and the such. You do not have the rights of both pedestrians and motorists. I swear, the next guy I see blazing a trail through a stop sign, I'm going to kick your front tire. I say 'guys' because there's no way I could do that to a chic.

No one wants to hear your life story on the bus. Do not respond to "How are you" by mentioning every event between your birth and today. A simple "Fine" will do.

Telling someone to step back is fine. Telling them why with a 40-word sentence is not fine. DO not, I repeat, DO NOT get an attitude in a heavily crowded space. I'm not a big fan of crowds, and pissing me off isn't smart.

If you're a guy, and you have curly hair, do not grow it out. This whole long hair 'thang' is getting gay real quick. I don't like looking at someone and getting confused as to whether that was a chic or not. But, if you're going to grow your hair out, at least make it look manageable and clean. Brush, comb, whatever.

That's all I can let loose for now...

Not bad...

Today, I gave my seat on the bus three times. One of which was to a cute blonde. And now, I feel good about myself.

Today has just been off. It hasn't been terrible like some of my other days. It probably had to do with the weather. It's been grey and humid. I don't like humid. I do like dark clouds. The hour before a storm starts is the absolute perfect time to play basketball. If it's the right moment, the wind is cool, the sun is blocked out, and usually the courts are empty.

I have yet to see the footage of the Texas reliever hitting a fan with a chair. I can't wait.

Working on the spanish homework a little bit. I really need to finish my logic homework. I'm probably three or four steps away for one of the proofs. I find it mildly entertaining.

Some days, everything just falls into place.

Although, while I stood on the bus all 50 minutes of my trip, I was able to get some thinking out of the way. I like to stand there, close my eyes, and just go through scenarios. If this happens, I'll do that and the kind.

Either way, I must be doing work. Or playing games. Whichever comes first...

Oops...

So yea, nothing got done today.

Oh wait, I have to do a quick spanish assignment.

I'll post soon.

Wow...

I have no answers. I have no clue.

But everything is good again.

Thrown kisses would be pleasant.

Umm...

Can anyone log into AIM? What about Hotmail?

I seriously need to get this program done, and I can't do crap if I don't have these two things.

Time Warner sucks.

I don't care if they see that. They can stick it where the sun don't shine.

Man...

Trying to sign into Aim...

it won't let me.

Trying to write my program for C S 315...

it's not working.

Trying to check my Hotmail account...

server is down?

OK, I'm seriously pissed off. Let's just make everything hell for Andy. Let's just throw stuff at him until he gives.

Here you go...

I know, I know. In the last couple of posts, I've used references to drugs and medication.

No, I'm not on or taking anything. It's nothing. Really.

Although, I loved it when they sedated me for that test. The feeling was lovely. I didn't have a care in the world. I was laying there, staring at an empty canvas. Focus wasn't a problem. Just pure emptiness in my head, nothing but total relaxation. The wall could have fell down, and I would have remained still.

If I could have that feeling every night, it would be something. I'd sleep easier for sure. Right now, my nights are spent tossing and turning for 2 hours and then falling asleep for 3 straight if I'm lucky.

The do this game on The Ticket where they mention a really annoying song and then ask how much would you take off to never hear it again. What they mean by 'take off' is how much time off your life would you give up. For instance, to never hear another 3 Doors Down song, I would give up 2 days.

How much would I take off for a sedative-induced feeling before sleep? Probably a month.

Of course, they also have another goofy game, "Would you?" They mention two actresses, one underage and the other moderately old, and ask which one you would. Pretty funny.

But, I do know that I'll have that peace some day.

Quiz:

One

"Can you just tell me it's alright?
Let me see you tonight.
Can you comfort me tonight?
Make it all seem fine..."

Two

"Baby I'm afraid of alot of things,
But I ain't scared of loving you.
Baby I know you're afraid of alot of things,
But don't be scared of love..."

Extra Credit

"Smelling of love through the moist wind"

Quiz...

5 points to whoever can guess the music group and song title...

"If Heaven calls, I'm coming too, just like you said,
If you leave my life, I'm better off dead.
But if you want to show, just let me know,
And I'll sing in your ear again.
Now the drugs don't work,
They just make you worse,
But I know I'll see your face again."

A bone...

Alright...you want results?

In a very odd twist of circumstanes, I am actually fine.

The original problem was that my hemoglobin count was too high. I think there were other abundant cells, and that caused my blood to be abnormally thick.

They looked at the results of the bone marrow test as well as the results from today's blood lab. My hemoglobin count was down to average. Everything had gone down. The bone marrow test came back normal. My doctor just looked at me and said, "Whatever was wrong, isn't wrong anymore." He had a look of disbelief on his face, as if there was something inexplicable.

Basically, I was sick. Seriously sick. But now I'm fine.

What do I think?

There was something wrong. You don't go through the process of having bone marrow removed without something being wrong (and I have a scar from that now). You don't have blood drawn every month unless there's something wrong. But whatever it was, it's ok.

While everyone would say that I should be relieved...I have to say that I'm a little disappointed.

I really wanted a definite answer. Not something unreasonable.

But, the doctor does want more blood work done. I have to have blood drawn every 6 months for the next two years, and then every year after that. It's not that bad.

How is it?

You see that 70 year old man losing his balance and is approx. 0.25 seconds away from falling face first into the ground?

You see the old man with a walker going 0.01 mph?

You see that old man who can barely talk above a whisper?

You see that old man who sits there with a scowl?

You see that man on the bench who is too weak to defend himself from anything?

You see the gray-haired man who coughs constantly?


That will be me someday...

But not anytime soon...

And I'm back...

Ye Olde Father cometh to Austine this night.

I probably mangled that up. Oh well. Worth a shot.

So yea, tomorrow I go to the doctor for, hopefully, the last time. I get the results from my Bone Marrow Aspiration tomorrow at 3:45, which is why my Dad is coming down. They're also going to draw blood, for whatever reason. Maybe they think it's funny...I don't think its funny...

They said I wouldn't be healthy for 5 to 7 days. They said I needed plenty of rest. They said I shouldn't push myself. Well, they were wrong. 3 days for me. Because I moved around. And because I pushed myself to feel better. If there's anything in this world that frustrates me (besides the word 'intrigue') it's being sick. And I mean really frustrated. The fact that I'm not at 100% pisses me off. It's weird, but I'm sure some people out there are the same way.

French Horn lessons tomorrow. I only practiced last Friday after I was done for the day. But that was more than enough for me to get my lips and air back. My soudns has returned, and my technique as well. Just a little more, and I'll be back where I was 3 years ago.

You ever notice that some people feel a need to move around when they hear music while others don't? For instance, there was some white trash weirdo on the bus today banging his foot on the floor to some crap music. I had my earphones on, and I didn't feel that need to tap my toe or even nod my head. I don't get it. When I listen to music, I am very still, I am very observant, and I still enjoy it. Maybe I'm just trying to rain on someone's parade...

Oh man I want to go play basketball! Some days I get this feeling that I'm "on." I have to take advantage of those days. But my bro is sick, probably with whatever I had. And it's weird, because it just spread through campus like wildfire. I see people coughing and sneezing everywhere.

You should see this scar on my palm. It's pretty cool.

Pats against Colts tonight. I'm putting my money on the Colts. Crap for you if you think otherwise.

On some personal notes, I finally talked to some friends of mine whom I hadn't heard from in over 2 weeks. Everybody, wish Rojo luck on his LSATs. TP, I appreciate the compassion. A little bit of that can go a long way. And yea, my nephew is an awesome baby because he sleeps at night, usually the whole way through. Most other kids wake you up at 2 or 3 and cry for nothing. Hope to be in the area sometime soon. I have to try out "My Martini" and visit my peoples. Soon enough...

Almost...

Will post tomorrow, given that I have time. Bear with me...

Burns...

I said I wasn't going to post until Monday....sorry, but I lied.

I don't think I'm going to be able to post tomorrow, or the day after for that matter. So I figure it'd be nice to have something for the mean time.

I've stressed out so much that I'm sick now. It's not the time for me to be sick either. I have my classes to think about, and for some reason they've all cracked down on attendance. Missing an entire week would be academic suicide. I'm pushing to be healthy again by Wednesday.

I've had two very good, but disturbing dreams. Are dreams the presentation of the things you want most in life? Are they memories you wish you had? Is there any meaning to them at all? I don't have answers. But I can believe that a scientist and a christian would both say that dreams are a form of something, whether from your self or from God.

Somewhere out there is what I want. This keeps me going. It's my only motivation at this point. If someone were to take that away from me, I don't know what I'd do.

"Give me one more medicated peaceful moment,
'Cause I don't want to feel this overwhelming hostility."

Some day...some where...some time...

The weekend...

Ok, boliver321 said thanks to his best friend's fiance, so I quit. Whether or not my ranting and raving made a difference, I quit.

I've decided that maybe it is time for me to disappear again. Maybe a week or two. I just don't feel right anymore. I don't know how to explain it. I feel like anywhere but here is right for me. I'm not talking about Austin.

I'm going to take a break. I'll post again on Monday.

I need to go vent a bit. If I don't, I might punch something harder than my fist...and that could hurt.

Ballin'...

My roommate from last year (R) just called me. He wants to play ball. I'm glad he does. I played earlier today, and I have the energy of a bear that has the energy of two bears!

I watched The Butterfly Effect not too long ago. It wasn't half bad. In fact, I really related to Ashton's character. Well, except I'm backwards with my memory.

Imagine this...

In random points in time, an event is embedded into your brain, no matter how significant or minute the event. It's stuck forever. But in between those random points, any event can be easily forgotten. So, let's say you remember playing football with some friends, but not the party afterwards, or the next month for that matter. Or, let's say you remember going to the store to get some snacks, but not the amazingly attractive chic you met outside the store and her 'open-minded' friend.

That's what my memory is like. I don't get to choose what I remember.

I remember rolling off of a bunkbed, the top bed, and waking up halfway during my fall to the ground. But I don't remember anything for the next six months after that. I remember what I did in Spanish two days ago, but I don't remember the next three classes afterwards.

It really sucks.

Although, as I mentioned a long time ago, I have a folder full of paper with my writing on it. From December 25th, 2001 to May 18th, 2003. That's about the time I started my first blog. And then this one. So if I forget something, like a dream, I just read my entry. It's helpful.

In other news, the list of people I need to spend time with in big D-town is growing larger.

TP, D, boliver321, his woman friend K... If I get fingers running through my hair...

...so yea. Time for me to head to bed once more. One day of class and I'm done. Oh please let me remember to take my Horn tomorrow morning. I need that locker, too. Wake at 6, be back home at 12. Not too shabby...

There is good out there...

Today has just been great.

Kobe got his dismissal. I got my original Spanish group. 'Tis good.

Overall, there isn't much for me to report. I'm feeling rather indifferent today.

I don't get my results from the bone marrow aspiration until September 10th. In other news, if you know me, you know that my stomach sucks horribly. We're talking daily doses of Prilosec or Zantac. Rolaids and Tums just don't cut it. Well, I have no idea what caused it, but it's healed quite a bit. Still have the acid reflux, but I can control that well. Tomorrow will be a true test though. 3 1/2 hours straight of class.

One of my hard drives screwed up this morning. I don't know how. I was just getting out of the shower, and when I checked my computer, there wa a black screen with "Read Disk Error, Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to Restart." It really pissed me off. I think it has to do with me being on AIM or something. When I tried to open up my buddy list, it wouldn't let me. It could have been something with BearShare. I'm not sure. So I'm going to keep my programs to a minimum and see if it solves anything. I'm betting it has to do with my crummy 80 gig hard drive...

Still no word on a locker for my instrument. I really need that too. I ride a bus to class, and I don't trust the people on that bus. Dragging around that case is going to suck as well. Hopefully the guy calls tomorrow.

Either way, I'm going to head to bed. More sleep = happy F-Bomb...