I know I said I'd be back on Monday. But I am just overfilled with thoughts that need to get out.
I'm really in the mood to destroy things. I finished most of my logic homework, but the 2nd to last problem is killer. Well, maybe I'm just making it harder than what it is.
When I'm on the bus, and I get my favorite seat, I look at the metal and plastic right in front of me. I want to hit it with my forearms until either my bones or that metal and plastic give. But I know that will hurt immensely. And I know my Dad would be pissed at me for something stupid like that. Ok, well maybe not pissed, but he wouldn't be happy. The whole knuckle incident is proof of that.
Today's been rough. I've been freaked out, surprised in a bad way, shocked in another, apalled, disgusted, you name it. Today is not my day. But at least there's less than 2 hours left.
I can't help but feel that in two hours, everything can go wrong. Even if I went to sleep right this moment. There's no guarantee that I'll wake up happy. No promise that I'll wake up without fear.
Wishing I was having another bone marrow test...
...just so I could be sedated. Sedated, seduced, either works...
Thursday, September 30
Here's what you can do...
Considering that I do go to UT, where organizations and hippies congregate to spread messages of a political nature every single day...
...everyone can take their debates, their political opinions, and cram it up their ass.
I'm so out of place at UT. I do not blend in very well. I should be plotting against everyone.
But that's why I like it here. I don't match anyone on campus. 55,000+ students, and none are like me. I'm an odd-colored fish swimming in a huge pond of pirahna. Come and get it. I'll probably make you cry.
Once again, do not come at me with political opinions, because I'll retaliate with a baseball bat. Or a hockey stick.
...everyone can take their debates, their political opinions, and cram it up their ass.
I'm so out of place at UT. I do not blend in very well. I should be plotting against everyone.
But that's why I like it here. I don't match anyone on campus. 55,000+ students, and none are like me. I'm an odd-colored fish swimming in a huge pond of pirahna. Come and get it. I'll probably make you cry.
Once again, do not come at me with political opinions, because I'll retaliate with a baseball bat. Or a hockey stick.
Right...
Just found out I have logic homoework (can't believe I typed that) due tomorrow...
Can this get any worse? I'm seriously in a bad mood now.
Can this get any worse? I'm seriously in a bad mood now.
Not quite...
Watched I, Max.
Nope, not feeling better.
This might take the weekend. I need to gather my self and find a new goal.
Why do I have class tomorrow? The only one I'm looking forward to is my French Horn lesson. And I can't skip either of the other two classes. This sucks so bad...
...but then again, this feeling reminds me of good times. It means that I haven't reached my final destination. I still have to look at the menu and decide. There's more time. This road keeps on going...hopefully not much further now.
Nope, not feeling better.
This might take the weekend. I need to gather my self and find a new goal.
Why do I have class tomorrow? The only one I'm looking forward to is my French Horn lesson. And I can't skip either of the other two classes. This sucks so bad...
...but then again, this feeling reminds me of good times. It means that I haven't reached my final destination. I still have to look at the menu and decide. There's more time. This road keeps on going...hopefully not much further now.
Blow my head off...
A little piece of me died today. But I'm on my short road to recovery. Given a day, I'll feel so much better. Or I can just wait until I, Max comes on. So hilarious...
Yea, this alarm clock is working. I woke up on time with my heart rate at 130. Or somewhere around there. Definitely working.
94 on the Spanish test. Stupid mistakes. I know I said I could accept one or two, but knowing those were the only two makes me mad. Well, they weren't the only two, but looking back, I might have done better if I hadn't rushed through it.
I think I need a vacation. I'll be back Monday. Or sooner if something great happens.
Oh, nice article by Marc Stein on ESPN.com here.
Yea, this alarm clock is working. I woke up on time with my heart rate at 130. Or somewhere around there. Definitely working.
94 on the Spanish test. Stupid mistakes. I know I said I could accept one or two, but knowing those were the only two makes me mad. Well, they weren't the only two, but looking back, I might have done better if I hadn't rushed through it.
I think I need a vacation. I'll be back Monday. Or sooner if something great happens.
Oh, nice article by Marc Stein on ESPN.com here.
Wednesday, September 29
The "S" in FSN...
Oh my gosh, how does Fox Sports keep screwing up their NFL power rankings? Dallas beat Washington on Monday night, and somehow the Cowboys remained at the same spot while Washington moved up a spot. Losing a game makes you better? Atlanta is 3 and 0, yet they managed to move down a spot. Fox Sports is good for one thing: I, Max.
Realized I do have Spanish homework to do (I say that everyday, don't I?) I should probably jump on it, but I'm so lazy. Eh, what's a few minutes out of my life anyway?
I know I said Cingular was gay, but I've changed my mind. When I went to upgrade my phone, the chic there that helped me was very nice and informative. Things were done in a professional manner, and it didn't take long at all. It really made my day. AOL, Time Warner, and I'm sure there's more, are still on my bad list.
Still looking for a nice pair of jeans. There's this new Lucky Brand store in the mall. I think I may go in there some day. I know, I've said that I hate jeans and that I would never wear them. But they can open up so many more possibilities for my wardrobe. I just checked out their online catalog, and I've found my new favorite store. Awesome.
Too bad Reno 911 already finished the season. That show is hilarious.
Realized I do have Spanish homework to do (I say that everyday, don't I?) I should probably jump on it, but I'm so lazy. Eh, what's a few minutes out of my life anyway?
I know I said Cingular was gay, but I've changed my mind. When I went to upgrade my phone, the chic there that helped me was very nice and informative. Things were done in a professional manner, and it didn't take long at all. It really made my day. AOL, Time Warner, and I'm sure there's more, are still on my bad list.
Still looking for a nice pair of jeans. There's this new Lucky Brand store in the mall. I think I may go in there some day. I know, I've said that I hate jeans and that I would never wear them. But they can open up so many more possibilities for my wardrobe. I just checked out their online catalog, and I've found my new favorite store. Awesome.
Too bad Reno 911 already finished the season. That show is hilarious.
What if...
For some odd reason, I feel compelled to write about something that happened earlier today.
As some of you know, I take the bus back from school. It doesn't stop right in front of my door, so I have to walk just a little bit. As I was walking on the sidewalk, a red truck was swerving across all three lanes. Not one lane, not two, but all three. At one point, I looked up from the ground, and saw the front end a few feet away from me.
He pulled back towards the road, and he completely missed the sidewalk. His swerve continued a little further on, and then he stopped at a red light.
From a blimp, the wave the guy's path created had a tangent which intersected my point of existence. Had he gone straight maybe 10 feet further, a major collision would have taken place.
And yet, I did not jump. I did not yell. I did not dive out of the way. I merely watched the truck come at me. I felt no fear. And that bothers me...
The guy could have been drunk, he could have lost control, any number of situations could have been the case. And nothing went through my head as it happened. Nothing. Pure emptiness.
It just makes me wonder how desensitized I am. Of course, we all know I have a short fuse. But I mean desensitized in the qualites and/or feelings that make us human, like the fear of death and the unknown.
In other news, Milton Bradley of the Dodgers is my hero! If I played baseball, no doubt I would be just like him.
As some of you know, I take the bus back from school. It doesn't stop right in front of my door, so I have to walk just a little bit. As I was walking on the sidewalk, a red truck was swerving across all three lanes. Not one lane, not two, but all three. At one point, I looked up from the ground, and saw the front end a few feet away from me.
He pulled back towards the road, and he completely missed the sidewalk. His swerve continued a little further on, and then he stopped at a red light.
From a blimp, the wave the guy's path created had a tangent which intersected my point of existence. Had he gone straight maybe 10 feet further, a major collision would have taken place.
And yet, I did not jump. I did not yell. I did not dive out of the way. I merely watched the truck come at me. I felt no fear. And that bothers me...
The guy could have been drunk, he could have lost control, any number of situations could have been the case. And nothing went through my head as it happened. Nothing. Pure emptiness.
It just makes me wonder how desensitized I am. Of course, we all know I have a short fuse. But I mean desensitized in the qualites and/or feelings that make us human, like the fear of death and the unknown.
In other news, Milton Bradley of the Dodgers is my hero! If I played baseball, no doubt I would be just like him.
No alarms and no surprises...
So far, so good.
Woke up late again. So I went and bought a real alarm clock. It's the same model I've been using for the past two years. The sound it produces will wake anyone up in 5 mile radius. Well, maybe not that far. It's a crappy way to wake up in the morning, but at least I'll wake up.
Test in Spanish for the second consecutive day. This was the main part, too. Countries, capitals, translations and improvisation. I think I did well. I finished in about 20 or so minutes. Left for music class and what not. That went well. I practically passed out for most of it.
Tomorrow is Spanish and Spanish Lab. Fun stuff. Well, not really. I need to practice my horn a little before Friday as well. Oh, Spanish homework to do also. Crap. I'm on it...
Woke up late again. So I went and bought a real alarm clock. It's the same model I've been using for the past two years. The sound it produces will wake anyone up in 5 mile radius. Well, maybe not that far. It's a crappy way to wake up in the morning, but at least I'll wake up.
Test in Spanish for the second consecutive day. This was the main part, too. Countries, capitals, translations and improvisation. I think I did well. I finished in about 20 or so minutes. Left for music class and what not. That went well. I practically passed out for most of it.
Tomorrow is Spanish and Spanish Lab. Fun stuff. Well, not really. I need to practice my horn a little before Friday as well. Oh, Spanish homework to do also. Crap. I'm on it...
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