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Oh! I just have to write about this.

"I glanced over and, whatever, I just let him continue on with his business."

Wow. That's how we reported it back when I was in high school. 'Taking care of bidness.' Damn straight.

"In this case, two girls and three boys engaging in oral sex or intercourse on school property while three other boys watched, according to sources familiar with what happened."

Alright, that's what I call a sausagefest. The boy-to-girl ratio is totally wrong. High school kids just don't know any better.

But what's the appeal? "Just being rebellious," [Jessica] said. "Coming back to class and saying, 'Ooh, guess what I just did? I just had sex in the auditorium.' "

I never heard that line once in all my high school years. Wish I had. Because that would have been awesome!

But getting a handle on the reasons students are emboldened to risk having sex at school is as tricky as figuring out how many are doing it.

Oh, I can give you an answer for both. They do it because school is boring! Rougly 7 - 8 hours of their weekday are spent on campus. That makes for pretty good odds. Do they think they'll get away with it at home if there are parents in the next room? No. Now, how many are doing it? I would estimate that 10% of the school has. That's based on the proven fact that 10% of all high school students can be classified as 'hot.' Kids who aren't hot aren't getting any.

"I would just wonder, like, what's going through their heads -- like, 'Okay, guys, let's meet at 3:30 behind the curtain?' " [Emilie] said.

Yea, that is what goes through their head. Seriously. Although, 3:30 sounds a bit late for some quickie action. The best time was always during lunch.

School administrators are drafting a rule that bans sex on school property.

You would figure that there would already be a rule like that.

"I'd become very unaroused at the sight," [Alex] added. "Nine hundred out of 901 people would not want to be involved."

You liar.

"Can't you just wait till you're at home?" [Matt] asked.

Remember, kids have parents. And sometimes, you just can't wait. Especially when there's this hot piece of tail sitting in front of you, and chemistry is boring, so, right after class you find your girl and a quiet place to 'take care of bidness.'